Transformers 3: Dark Side of the Moon
Score: 2 ¾ Stars
Directed by Michael Bay
Starring: Shia LaBeouf, John Turturro, Josh Duhamal and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley
I’m not really sure what to say about this film. It has hot men and women, killer robots, cool cars, and a weak Hollywood storyline. Basically it is all set to make an absolutely fortune. But the right formula doesn’t necessarily make a good film.
Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) is job hunting, and not very successfully. He has found himself another stupidly hot girlfriend who is very friendly with her boss (Patrick Dempsey). Of course picking Shia LaBeouf over McDreamy is like picking Amanda Bynes over Megan Fox. Insanely flawed logic! But I digress. The Transformers are happily saving the world until they discover they were not informed of a discovery on the Moon. This leads to another fight for Earths survival against the Decepticons. All the characters from the previous Transformers return with additional cameos from Frances McDormand and the creepily awesome John Malkovich.
The storyline is nothing to tell your friends about. There is lots of over the top comedy, that I thought was funny, but the rest of the cinema didn’t really agree. There are serious holes in the plot. Why are they suddenly on a highway when they were at the base a minute ago? There are also lots of interesting fade to blacks for no purpose that is discernable. Michael Bay you are not making an art film!
On the positive side the technological aspects of the film, particularly the CG and 3D is amazing. The fight sequences are slick. The transformations are even more impressive. It is also almost easy to work out who is fighting for which side (a problem I suffered from lots in the other two films). But why Michael Bay and Ehren Kruger (the writer) decided to create a total Armageddon in Chicago is an unanswerable question. No logic!
Rosie Huntington-Whitey is sufficiently hot to justify herself as the replacement for Megan Fox. The Botox in her lips is the only thing to watch in a close up because the rest of her face doesn’t move, but it is still strangely fascinating. But seriously I would kill her to look that good in white dress. I’m also curious as to the costume designers’ decision to decide that while Chicago is collapsing around her Rosie’s character manages to have two changes of clothes (where the clothes come from and why they fit so perfectly will remain a mystery). Also her white clothes manage to stay pretty clean while the city collapses around her… Finally she also has to be saved (at least Megan Fox’s character was useful) and no one seems to care that saving her could jeopardise mankind, but she is more important than saving the world first and hoping she survives afterwards? Men think with their dicks!
This film is almost three hours and it feels it. I lost count of the amount of people who left to go to the toilet during the film. Cut the film down to 2 hours and people would be much more inclined to forgive its mistakes. My recommendation: Wait till it comes out on DVD and then you can fast forward to all the action sequences which are all that need to be watched.
Finally can Transformers 4 please abandon all pretence at the human element and just be an hour of transforming robots fighting each other? Please?
Reviewed by Rachel Jacobs
Bridesmaids – Movie Review
Score – 4 ½ Stars
Directed By: Paul Feig
Starring: Kirsten Wiig, Maya Rudolph and Rose Byrne
I hurt. I am beyond sore I can’t even describe to you the pain I am going through. It’s the morning after and the thought of getting out of bed makes me want to cry. At this point I wish I could tell you that I took a leaf out of Annie’s book and availed myself of the um… pleasure (and I use the word tenuously) she receives in the first scene, but alas I cannot. My pain stems from two hours of laughter. My diaphragm worked so hard that this film has got to be the latest fad in the world of exercise routines.
Lillian, Annie’s best friend since childhood, becomes engaged at a time when everything is falling apart for Annie. Lillian is naturally asked to be the maid of honour. But she hasn’t met the rest of the Bridesmaids yet. Douglas (the fiancé – who says not one word in the film, and has the most amazingly dorky cheeks) comes from wealth. Enter the extravagant engagement party and four other bridesmaids who don’t really have any money trouble. This movie isn’t just about the bachelorette, it’s about the build up to a wedding and what do the women involved really go through.
The cast isn’t the most well known unless you watch Saturday Night Live were both Kirsten Wiig (who also co-wrote the script) and Maya Rudolph hail from. This is evident in the chemistry they possess together on scene. You know they know each other and that works for the characters. Rose Byrne on the other hand is really making it big (see her playing the boring human in X-Men First Class). She sizzles as the hot, desperately lonely, but still hot, other women. Yes boys, we have other women in our lives and the original ones hate them.
I really don’t want to give too much away because this film is brilliant. The comic timing of these women is exceptional. The film is pacy and engaging and it is NOT just for women. Just as we females all trouped to see the Hangover so should the men make their way to Bridesmaids. Take your girlfriend if it will make you feel less gay, alternatively wait till you can hire it on DVD and then no one will know (*evil laugh*)!
Reviewed by: Rachel Jacobs